Most of my significant prayers happen in the shower. If you ask a mom with little kids, you'll know that this is not so uncommon. This particular day however, I was not praying for anything specific, mostly just being grateful for the wonderful family I had been blessed with. That's when it happened. I was hit with a feeling so overwhelming, it had me holding on to the shower walls and crying (bawling actually) and I couldn't control myself for a while. The feeling that I had was that we were supposed to have another baby, and it was so strong, loud and clear but also sweet and tender at the same time.
When Giada was born it never occurred to me that we were done having babies, but one day talking about it with Dane he said he thought we shouldn't have anymore. I complained for a while so we got to the compromise that if our financial situation changed dramatically before I turned 35 (because I don't wanna have kids after 35 and the gap between kids would be just too big) then we would have more kids. So that day when I had that feeling, and I was able to get a hold of myself, I looked up and said "OK, but if you want me to have another baby, you are gonna have to talk to Dane because he is the one who doesn't want to." That same week, just one or two days after that day, Dane came to me saying that he thought we should have another baby. I am embarrassed to say that I panicked. I thought he would be much more difficult to convince than that, and I didn't even expect to feel the way I was feeling. But all those months of struggling financially made me more content with the decision of not having any more kids than I was aware of. So when Dane came to me saying that he felt we should have another baby, I was too scared. I argued about how or situation hadn't changed and reminded him of our agreement. For a while we continued that way, with him bringing up the subject almost every day and me refusing. Inside of me I knew he was right and I knew what I had to do but I was so scared I didn't even bring myself to tel him about the experience I had. Finally he convince me to fast and pray about it with him (I was afraid he would suggest this for I knew what the answer would be) but I agreed to do it. One Sunday, I think it was the last Sunday of July, we finally got to it and when we were going to bed I went to the bathroom and when I came out Dane had a very peculiar expression on his face. I asked him what was up and he said "You knew didn't you? you know we were supposed to have another baby and you didn't tell me" I started laughing and I told him about that day in the shower. He said "Oh great, so what are we doing here? we are just being hungry for nothing!" So I called my OBGYN the next day to make an appointment to get my IUD removed, and I had it done on the 20th of August. The 21st of September I had a positive pregnancy test.
We are really excited about this baby, and even though I am so embarrassed that I doubted and refused to follow what I knew we were supposed to do, now that I did I couldn't be happier. We couldn't be happier. This is such a great blessing and we are so full of joy.
We wanted to wait until I was 12 weeks along to tell people, but let's be honest, with my 4th baby, there is no way I can hide this for so long. I already feel like I can't hide it anymore because my clothes already don't fit me the same.
So there you have the story behind the news. This is a very special story for us and we hold it very close to our hearts, so we thought it would be nice to share it with you all.
W21 of Y4
1 week ago